I'll cut this flick some slack regarding the rampaging dinosaur skeletons that a) are awful cartoon effects and b) roar even though they don't have vocal cords. Cartoons really are the only practical way to do walking skeletons, especially when you don't care how shitty your movie comes out anyway, and if I can buy them coming to life it's not too much of a stretch to buy that they can roar. But even after letting all that slide there's still:

• The frat guy who we're supposed to hate because he hazes people. Here's an example of his out-of-control behavior: he tells this one pledge to do some pushups, but then he says he's just kidding, the pledge doesn't really have to do the pushups. Dying in gruesome horror is too good for this fiend.

• The nerd who's so tiresomely nerdy that it was just fucking embarrassing. For the writer, I mean, not the nerd.

• "That's utterly terrifying." You really have to see this part in context or whatever to fully understand, but believe me when I say that this is literally the worst line/pun to ever appear in any movie, book, TV show, or Bazooka Joe comic ever made. I have no doubt whatsoever that future historians will identify "That's utterly terrifying" as the undisputed single lowest point in the history of written language.

• The "happy" ending where everything works out fine for the dude who brought the killer skeletons to life. Sure, he's directly responsible for the nightmarish slaughter of at least a dozen innocent people, most of them kids, but that's okay because the movie insists that he's one of the good guys. It's not like he was going around making people do pushups or anything.

Seriously, do I even need to go on? The lacktalent "writer" who blew his way into this gig should be forced to eat a copy of this script once a week until the day he dies, because he deserves to spend the rest of his life shitting failure. As for the rest of this movie, well, the effects suck, the gore sucks, the action sucks, the jokes suck, the camerawork sucks, the sheriff's daughter in a bikini...

Okay, the sheriff's daughter in a bikini was pretty nice.