Robots sporting shiny gold suits and page boy haircuts (fags) kidnap a professor and his assistant, so our Space Patrol Star Force (which includes some stunningly hot chicks) takes off in hot pursuit. They manage to track the page boys down (mostly by accident), but when they find the prof it turns out he's switched sides! Everyone gets captured and they take them to the page boys' queen, who... holy shit, it's I Dream of Jeannie! Oh, wait, it's just the prof's assistant dressed as I Dream of Jeannie. She proceeds to betray the homo-bots and the Earthlings, which is especially hard on the captain of Team Space Patrol since she's kinda his girl. But then he realizes that a way finer chick has been panting after him since at least the second reel, so when the big spaceship battle we all knew was coming finally rolls around he swallows his balls and blows the bitch right out of the sky. "When I think of all that's happened, it makes life fantastic!" he says to his new piece. Maybe for you, Oswald, you're about to bang some interstellar hottie two seconds after pulling off the most definitive break-up of all time. Me, I just had to sit through this stupid, lame-ass movie.