You know, I'm not even sure which version of War is the Worlds this is supposed to be the sequel to. Probably the original book, since the cat who wrote it is dead, making him the least likely to sue. Whatever the case, this lame-ass movie is as dull as a dishwater blonde and twice as desperate to please: there's endless running around and yelling and tons of cartoons flying all over the place, but none of it really means anything or makes much sense, and it's all about as exciting as the time I went to Arby's and thought it was closed but then it turned out that it wasn't. The vast majority of the "action" consists of cartoon airplanes fighting what look like giant sand burrs, while the main guy spends most of his time wandering aimlessly around and looking incredulous, even when he's dealing with basic, everyday shit like someone expecting to be paid for their goods and/or services. This isn't Russia, idiot. Obama notwithstanding. Strangely enough, just about the only time he doesn't look incredulous is when he's inside one of the alien spaceships with what appears to be a gigantic Martian dick in his mouth. I guess that particular scenario was relatively familiar to him. The one part I did like was when our main guy's annoying kid got disintegrated - I laughed my ass off - but later it turns out that the little wiener was just teleported somewhere so ultimately they even took that away from me. Seriously you fuckers, isn't enough that you already took an hour and a half of my life plus my dignity when someone caught me watching this? What more do you want from me? Fucking bastards.