What is Water Wars? Wait, hang on- should that be "What are Water Wars?" Because "wars" is plural, right? But "Water Wars" is like a single specific thing, so doesn't that make it singular? Goddammit, I hate English. Things were so much better in the olden days when we all just grunted, ate whatever we could scrounge up, and hit the chick we wanted over the head, dragged her into our cave, and had our way with her at our convenience. You know, college. Where was I? Oh yeah, Water Wars. Apparently, it's just a fancy-pants way to have a water balloon fight, and you could achieve pretty much the same thing by attaching a funnel to a huge rubber band. Scratch that- you'd be achieving the exact same thing because that's all they did:

This video is basically pimping Water Wars to amusement parks and shit, but frankly any place that has a couple of carpenters on the payroll could probably build their own in like an afternoon. Hell, you could throw together a decent approximation in your backyard by yourself. Drunk. In fact, why don't you get started on that? When it's ready let me know and we'll invite some bikini babes over. I've got an idea for an even better game using this equipment. It's called "Vodka Wars".