
Video Picks for Perverts
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(1998)
I had kind of a hard time following the plot of this movie, but here's the highlights: 1) A skank with moles (or possibly sores) all over her ass gets eaten out, sucks cock, and gets fucked. The best thing about this part is when somebody's dog wanders into the scene. Sit, Ubu, sit! Good dog. 2) Two cute chicks dyke out. This part is actually worth watching, and I should know since I watched it six times. 3) This little blonde gets the business next, but she's a little too little if you ask me- you might want to look into this one, FBI. The guy who fucks her is the real prize though; he tries to sing that "Pfft you were gone" song while she's sucking him off, which might've been funny if he actually knew the words. And is he wearing an I.D. bracelet??? In 1998? Maybe it's some medical thing, but I think there's a way better chance that he's just a total guido douche. There's also a pot-bellied pig - that's right a fucking pig - getting in the way while they go at it. I realize this was made in someone's back yard, and I assume porn actors don't have the highest expectations when it comes to set design, but for fuck's sake at least lock up the goddamn pets during the shoot. Nothing screams "unprofessional" like your lead actress suddenly realizing that there's a pig trying to root the missing half of a broken condom out of her ass. Final rating: worth seeing for the lesbos. I can never watch the same porno twice though, so as always I donated this to the thrift store after I switched the label with an old Merchant-Ivory flick. So if you ever see one of those down at the Salvation Army you should consider picking it up. Who knows, you might get lucky.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.