Someone mails this high school kid a magic wishing penis (Why oh why didn't they call this movie "The Wishing Penis"? That would've been so fucking awesome.), and the first thing he wishes for is a cheerleader. While we're waiting for that to backfire on him, there's also this slasher running around killing people. And what do these two things have in common? As it turns out, nothing. What kind of dipshit movie is this? If the murders were actually cool I suppose I could look the other way, but they're pretty generic, except for the bowling ball one which is just fucking retarded (and it's even more retarded when they try to match this suspect's fingers to the ball; I'm relatively certain you can hit someone with a bowling ball even if your fingers don't fit into the little holes). And why does that dumb midget from Poltergeist have to show up? God I hate that fucking twat. If I had three wishes, my first one would be for someone to punt her ass back to Munchkin Country, or wherever the hell she came from. (Just for the record, the second one would be for money, and the third one would be for three cheerleaders.)

So, it's a stupid fucking movie. But one thing bugged me more than anything else: why is the principal always sitting in the dark like the fucking Godfather? I know they keep cutting school budgets, but if they really can't afford a light bulb for his office he should just bring one in from home or something.