I prefer mountin' witches, and I sure wouldn't mind mounting the one at the beginning of this movie. Not only is she fine, but when this little girl witch tries to push her around she sets the little bitch on fire! Awesome. After that incident the main witch decides she better hide out from the rest of the witches in Brazil, but when she asks her ex to tag along he makes a big show of cancelling his vacation and taking on an extra gig for work instead! Ha! What a cock. So far this flick has been pretty entertaining, but this is where it derails because instead of following the hottie to South America (where, I understand, they have nude beaches) we follow the guy - and his amazing Hall & Oates moustache - to work. Fucking weak. At least Oates manages to pick up another, if somewhat inferior, babe along the way, but unfortunately for them somebody steals his jeep and they end up stranded in the mountains. (Incidentally, has yelling "Hey, come back here!" ever worked? Just once I wanna see somebody actually come back and return the purse or whatever.) Eventually they find the jeep, but it turns out they've been led right into the clutches of Oates' thoroughly pissed-off ex and some of her friends. They try to escape, but not very hard, so in the end they get captured by the witches, who perform a little musical number and then kick the absolute shit out of them.

Should've gone to Brazil, dickhead.