This cat burns some old bag at the stake because she wouldn't give him any play when she was younger. You stuck-up bitches on Match.com might want to re-read that last sentence. Don't think I won't find out where you live eventually.

Anyway, 100 years later the curse the old bag subsequently laid out is still causing everyone grief, so when this babe with the same name arrives in town the villagers decide to burn her at the stake. Because that worked so well before. (I swear, there aren't too many people out there dumber than villagers, except of course NASCAR fans and education majors.) Fortunately, a muscleman from a completely different movie picks this exact moment to ride into town to buy some pants, and he's just in time to rescue her. Afterwards the chick decides to file a grievance with the mayor, but the needs of the many registered voters outweigh the needs of the one so he sides with the villagers. Oh, and it probably doesn't help that when she tries to swear on the bible the Ventures' "Wipeout" kicks in and the whole book bursts into flames. The muscleman decides to go to Hell to straighten this shit out, where he gets attacked by a lion (the fake lion head they used in this part looked kind of familiar, and trust me, if you watch enough of these muscleman movies you really do start to recognize specific prop lion heads); gets sidetracked by pussy ("How is it that a beautiful woman like you is down here?" he says, because as we all know beautiful people only go to Heaven); fights a giant; strangles an eagle; has a long, time-killing flashback to previous muscleman movies he starred in; completely owns a stampede; and finally ends the witch's curse once and for all by kissing her in front of her would-be boyfriend, who proceeds to furiously flail his arms around and then fall down a hill in a comical fashion.

I'll tell ya, I really cannot get enough of this shit.