This guy throws his a dog a stick, but a UFO brings it back. The UFO proceeds to alien abduct him, and three years later he returns as an "Xtro", which is short for, I dunno, something, probably. He violates a blonde's mouth, bursts out of her snatch as his old, fully-grown human self (this part is super repulsive and awesome), and proceeds to track down his son, who he wants to take back into space with him, I assume so he can dodge his child support payments. Before they leave though he gives the son ESP powers, which the little bastard uses to bring his toys to life so they can kill people. Later, with the help of a midget clown,* the kid bushwhacks the main hottie from The Living Daylights and puts her to work laying alien-spawn spore-eggs. In the end both male generations of mutant alien pricks fly off into outer space, leaving mom behind with nothing but a refrigerator full of homicidal eggs, a dead Bond girl in the bathroom, and, for some inexplicable reason, a live panther just casually roaming around their apartment and undoubtedly spraying cat jizz all over the place. No way she's getting that security deposit back. Obviously this movie is riding the short bus, but it's full of slime and gore and the chick from The Living Daylights shows us the goods (twice), so I'm having a really hard time telling you not to watch it. How's this: watch it, but tell everyone I told you to watch My Dinner with Andre instead.

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