Sherlock Holmes is a dick. He's always like "elementary" this and "elementary" that... You know he makes it all up, right? I'm not kidding- nine times out of ten he saw who committed the crime and just pretends he figured it out because he found a puma hair on the floor and that kind of puma only lives in the Himalayas and blah blah blah... He's a total fraud and frankly I'm sick of his bullshit.

Now that we've got that out of the way, on to the movie. Why anyone would make this is beyond me. Seriously, why does he have to be young? Kids don't exactly spooge all over themselves when they hear the name "Sherlock Holmes"; his stories are only like one step removed from something they'd make you read in school. And no adult wants to see a movie called "Young" anything, unless the word "poontang" is also in the title. So what's the point? It's like writing a book called "Old Encyclopedia Brown". Who cares? My first guess would be that they did this because someone thought it was "cute", but I wouldn't exactly call this movie "cute". I mean, it's not like there's a bunch of full-frontal or goat fucking or anything, but it is full of murders and drugs, and in one part this chick gets cooked alive in molten wax by devil worshippers. Try explaining that to your five-year-old.

So there's like no audience for this movie whatsoever, but that said it's actually not that bad. In fact, I was completely into it (even when they stumbled onto the Temple of Doom) until the part where Sherlock and Watson hop into this "flying machine" and go for a little ride. It's completely unnecessary and ridiculous. Oh well, that's really the only bad part, and I especially liked the fact that when it came down to the line Holmes wasn't above killing an entire roomful of people. He's way more badass than those fucking pussies the Goonies.

Fun Fact: This is a Steven Spielberg/The Fonz co-production.